Mercury in Aquarius in the 9th. I am aware of the fixed(Aquarius)/mutable(Mercury as ruler of mutable signs) paradox frequently. Sometimes I am uncomfortable with how determined I can be to have my thought or idea accepted as the right or best one. Yet I am very curious, open minded, and tolerant of other people’s ideas, beliefs, world views — unless they can be proven wrong!
8 year old me at the diner with my family. I order hot tea. The waitress asks, “Would you like milk or lemon with your tea?” I answer, “Both!”. My mother interjects, “You can’t have both, they don’t mix.” I insist on both. The tea, milk, and lemon arrive. I put the lemon and milk in my tea and am shocked and indignant when the milk curdles, but quickly switch to amazed as I learn something new— lemon will curdle milk. I welcome my mind being opened to new knowledge and truth. I dislike ignorance and what is not true.
I become upset when people misquote me or misunderstand me, which happens sometimes in readings with clients. People hear what they want to hear, and can alter things to rationalize or justify a choice, or position, they are not ready to change yet. I cannot let that go when it happens and can be quite persistent until I feel the other person fully understands me. Even worse, is when someone twists my words against me in an argument, or accepts me and my beliefs and later reveals they were just deceiving or manipulating me for their own reasons. This has happened often in love. I have Mercury in the 9th square to Neptune in Scorpio in the 5th. Sun in Aquarius in the 8th also square to Neptune in the 5th.
The death knell for a budding relationship: “You know what your problem is? You’re too smart.” Sadly, I have heard this many times. The words that opened my heart: “I really like the way you think.”
When I look at compatibility between two people, I look carefully at Mercury. It is often overlooked or underemphasized in relationship comparisons because it is not considered sexual or romantic, but the sign and house placements of Mercury and the aspects each person’s Mercury make to the partner’s planets can do more to determine the tone and outcome of a relationship than fantastic sexual and romantic aspects. If two people can’t communicate well, the relationship will need mediation, or it will end. If each person becomes aware of the dynamics of the partner’s Mercury through a synastry chart analysis, they may be able to avoid or mitigate communication challenges between them, and the positive Mercury aspects can be further encouraged to deepen an understanding of each other’s minds.
I think the biggest turn on is when someone ‘gets’ us. Understanding builds trust, and trust fosters commitment and longevity. Mercury is the active planet in the first step of getting to know someone and communication is the vehicle through which we express the rest of our natal chart.